Blogging Redux

So yeah, I totally had a blog before but then Blogger got blocked by the net nanny at my Job From Hell and I was too lazy to update from home, so it went away. Sorta. It's still there but since I can't remember the logon, it's never getting updated.

Anyway, I was at the thrift store today and thinking about how much I hate stuff... and then I thought, "Why not share all that loathing?" so here I am.

Which brings us to... chick lit. Women's fiction. Beach reading. What fucking ever. Now, I enjoy a nice romantic comedy once in a great while, but this chick lit crap has got to go. If you haven't read it, I'll give you a summary:

Average, perhaps slightly overweight girl, just into her mid-to-late twenties (but not worried about her biological clock, because she's dating a great guy who'll probably propose soon, to the great delight of her mother). Even though she works as a copywriter/editorial assistant/lackey at a big-time publishing house, she can afford to spend her money on designer shoes.

Suddenly, the boyfriend gets cold feet and dumps her. She's desolate. She wants him back. She finds out he's already sleeping with another girl. She cries.

Then she picks herself up. Maybe she gets a dog. She decides to stop worrying about men and be independent. Suddenly, the dog gets sick. Or bit. Or a dog bites her. Frantic, frazzled, and wearing sweats (no Mahnolos!) she ends up meeting a very kind (and handsome!) vet/doctor/lawyer, who shows more than a professional interest in her, despite the fact that she wasn't even wearing makeup when they met!

She's tentative, not wanting to give up this fragile independence, but handsome/successful doctor/vet/lawyer charms the Jimmy Choos off of her and she starts to fall for him. And suddenly, the heartbreaking ex calls. He's sorry. He was wrong. He wants to marry her.

Oh! What should she do! She can't be sure the lawyer/vet/doctor loves her! She can't be sure she loves him! Should she risk the unknown? Should she get back together with her ex? And what about her new career as a novelist/travel writer/fashion editor that she serendipitously fell into shortly after she was fired from her dead-end publishing job? Oh, and did I mention that she magically lost ten pounds? Because she totally did.

In the end, she rejects both. BUT! Handsome/sucessful vet/lawyer/doctor will not give up. He woos her. He proposes. She accepts. She wants to elope, she is so excited - her love is enough! She doesn't need a fancy wedding. But he knows her mother, and so he insists on a traditional/massive/Jewish wedding. Which he will pay for. Designer dress and shoes included. Blah blah, happily ever after.

Don't judge a book by its cover, unless the cover refers to designer shoes, getting over a boyfriend, or the beach. Or it has an illustration of a beach on the cover, but that's an entirely different genre of annoying books.