Janet? Janice? Janith?

In the waiting room at the doctor's office:

Chick with baby: So do you spell it with a T-H?
Unfortunate woman sitting next to her: What?
C: Do you spell your name with a T-H at the end?
U: My name is Janet.
C: Uh huh. She [meaning somebody they were talking about earlier] spells hers with a T-H. So it's J-A-N-E-T-H.
U (whose name I now know is Janet, and who is clearly regretting having this conversation): Oh. No, I don't spell it that way.

So, look... people? Stop. Just STOP with the stupid baby names. Because Janeth? Is thtupid. Speaking as someone whose name has a slightly variant spelling, I can tell you it's kind of a drag to go through life not being able to buy a personalized pencil at Disneyland, or constantly having to spell your name over the phone. Half the time I just let it go; I don't much care, and I'll answer to both. I'd be completely batshit crazy if I had to spell my name every damn time I met someone or had to make a doctor's appointment. I'd end up changing my name to something easy like Jane Smith, but then dipshits in the waiting room at my doctor's office would say, "Do you spell your name with an A-I or an A-Y?" and I'd have to punch them in the face and then change my name to Fuck You.

On a (slightly) cheerier note, if you're in the market for a shitty name for your kid, may I recommend Baby's Named a Bad, Bad Thing? This wonderful person has scoured the baby boards, found the worst suggestions (and justifications) for baby names, and posted them (with smartass commentary) for you to enjoy. Here's an example of the level of intelligence these people have:

I really like Freddie Prinze jr. and heard his father was famous and died tragically. What was his name?

Yeah... what was that guy's name? I can't imagine where one might begin to research such a complex mystery.

But I'm partial to The Utah Baby Namer because all the names are so completely bizarre. They're not mangled spellings of "normal" names (Kenadeigh?); they're just totally made up, mashed together names. My personal favorite is Jennyfivetina. That is the awesomest name ever. Actually, it's the second awesomest name ever. The truly awesomest name ever is Mayonesa, which came to me out of the blue while I was shopping at a bodega in Oceanside. Genius, isn't it?