Drama at Bingo night

I had my first night of volunteering at Casino Night at the nursing home. They have blackjack and bingo. Because I'm nice (and a sucker) I ended up calling bingo. You wouldn't think there would be drama at bingo, but you'd be wrong.

There were five people at my table, all in wheelchairs: one newly married couple, the wife with dyed red hair and the husband a bit of a joker; one slightly batty woman; one "normal" woman; and one toothless woman who kept fiddling with her shirt and looking at her bra. I don't know if it has to do with not having teeth, but her tongue was sticking waaaaay out, and it kind of needed a brushing.

I call the bingo games and hand out a quarter for each winning game. They're each playing two bingo cards which is against protocol but we're allowing it because there are only five players. The big-screen TV is on behind me with the volume off, so the rest of the room can follow the basketball game. This is also against protocol because the "normal" lady asks me to turn it off, and when someone comes by to turn it on again she pouts that it's "not fair" but nevertheless allows the TV to stay on.

After another volunteer shows up, she calls the numbers and I help the toothless woman fill in her card. She's still way more interested in looking down her shirt than she is in the game. Then the slightly batty woman looks over and mouths that she needs to use the bathroom. Thankfully, the volunteer coordinator is walking by and I try to hand off the problem to her. She offers to take the batty woman to the bathroom but the new bride announces that "She must be present to win!" and that nobody can play her card while she's gone. I'm dumbfounded and the volunteer coordinator is unsuccessfully trying to argue that bathroom breaks are perfectly acceptable exceptions. Batty lady now doesn't want to go the bathroom and is looking pretty miserable about it. I ask if it's ok for us to stop the game while she's gone but that is apparently also "not fair". I have no counterargument to sheer bullheadedness and we're all relieved when the "normal" woman says we can watch her bingo cards while she's gone. In the five minutes she's gone, someone else wins (thankfully) and we all move on with our lives.

So, lots of drama and crotchety old women (plus one crotchety middle-aged woman, I suppose) for one lousy hour of bingo. We'll see if I sign up for this again next week.